interstellar perversion

Bill: I'll have a surprise for you. Actually two.
Me: Did you have both balls removed?
Bill: Yes!

May 30th

Support your favorite shows...with a free...

May 30th

Uncontacted Indian tribe spotted in Brazil

May 30th

Miracle Fruit

May 29th

I recieved this e-mail this morning: “Long Time No Search, annie! Once upon a time, you...

May 29th

THE pencil.

May 29th

This is much better.

May 29th

Ugh.

May 29th

I’m talking with my mother on the phone and she’s eating something crunchy and taking...

May 28th

Aaron Sorkin is a genius.

May 28th

This is my house and I have to defend it

In the neighborhood I lived in when I was a kid, there was a tan old lady with a long silver pony...

May 27th

How me Breaking Up with you is Like Jon...

May 27th

Worst night of sleep ever.

May 27th

For the first time in what seems like forever, my stomach doesn’t hurt or feel weird. It feels...

May 23rd

All from the Tribune’s “Worst Album Cover...

May 21st

May 21st

May 21st

May 21st

I want all of these paintings from The Royal Art Lodge and I...

May 21st

This little rubbermaid drinking bottle may have just changed...

May 20th

May 15th

Thanks GG

Text from Nanner: Spotted, homeless man on my bus with his pants half off. Will H do the dirty deed on the 77? We'll soon find out. xoxo Gossip Girl.
Text back from Me: Hahahaha!

May 15th

California Supreme Court overturns gay...

May 15th

May 14th

I kept saying to myself that I don’t think that baby...

May 14th

Bloodfoot

This morning on my way to the bus stop I saw a stray dog ahead of me. He darted down an alley before...

May 14th

I just left a voice mail for a client with my mouth full of banana. You have to get your kicks...

May 14th

I just called my doctor’s office to make an appointment (at 4 p.m.) and they told me that the...

May 13th

I definitely want to live to be 100. Can you imagine what 2085 would be like? Neither can I, so I...

May 13th

boo!

I just went to Jimmy John’s for lunch and ordered a veggie sub. Upon opening it, there was...

May 12th

"Talking Popcorn" Awesome.

May 8th

Christina Applegate in InStyle magazine. Let’s all...

May 8th

Back to the meaty board

I dropped a frozen veggie burger on my toe last night. Believe me when I say, it hurt like a bitch...

May 8th

Isabella Rossellini in Green Porno

May 7th

"Legalize it" ugh.

May 7th

“There’s been time this whole time. You can’t kill time with your heart....

May 7th

Tofu....

May 7th

keep fallin' on my head

What a beautiful rain this morning!

May 7th

Because everyone thinks I am evil lately I made a list of things I like today. I realized that maybe...

May 6th

Everyone, I promise you when I say this, I’m trying the best that I can.

May 6th

Monday

I could not have had a less pleasant first phone call of the week.

May 5th

“Some things you lose You don’t get back So just know...”
— Bright Eyes - Make a Plan to...

May 2nd

Return to sender

I received an e-mail today from a client who wanted to know how to access our site. In place of an...

May 2nd

I just read a very sad case at work. I can’t handle sadness today!

May 2nd

Fat cat

I googled ‘pregnant cat’ because I didn’t know what one would look like and now I...

May 1st

Follow Directions

It bothers me when I call a client back and leave on their voicemail what number they should call to...

May 1st

Convert

I think I may have officially gotten over the fact that I really can’t have coffee anymore...

May 1st